


Cowabunga Sherrif Rango, We thirsty for more than just water!

by Clump



Category: Ice Age (Movies), Rango (2011)
Genre: Come to birmingham, Cool, Crack, I dont like you, M/M, Sexy, come back, dont read it please, i miss you, ok, please, terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28121052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clump/pseuds/Clump
Summary: Rango is Rango, he doing Rango things and one day hes like im not hungry any more obviously since lizards can live up to 2 months without water so hes like well im not hungry and i am bored so what the hot darn tootin heck! By the beard of Mr Timms im gonna shoot all of the water in this town to kill the water in this town if its the last thing i do and ill do it with oooooooone bullet!
Relationships: rango x spoons
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Cowabunga Sherrif Rango, We thirsty for more than just water!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stay_below_my_line_of_sight](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=stay_below_my_line_of_sight).



Once Upon a Time, Rango is Rango, he doing Rango things and one day hes like im not hungry any more obviously since lizards can live up to 2 months without water so hes; like well im not hungry and i am bored so what the hot darn tootin heck! By the beard of Mr Timms im gonna shoot all of the water in this town to kill the water in this town if its the last thing i do and ill do it with oooooooone bullet! I mean I aint no baaad egg but i got a hankerin' for some spankerin', some may see me as just a bad hoss, an criminal outlaw, some kinda bone orchard but criminy dickens im a good man, Rango thinks in his head of all of the times that everyone loved him and how he was always the bestest most cool cowlizard in the lands. he remembers the greatness people have hailed him for "y'know their aint enough kindness in this world, for a lizard you aint the kind to blend in, your the good kind", "Yo a goood maaaan arthur morgan, I- I mean Rango", "i found a human spinal column in my faecal matter" that one was unrelated, thought Rango but damn did spoons have a great ass. (this is making me uncomfortable (writer's note). Anyway im gonna shoot all of the water and then it will combine and make water bullets and then i will use them to shoot spoons with so he will never ever ever be hungey ever ever ever ever ever ever again. 

Rango steps out of the sherrifs office and shoots his big sherrif sign and says "who am i? i could be anyone" suddenly the townsfound leap out of their homes in unison and whisper "Rango" in a chanty sing songy voice. they repeat it rhythmically as they shimmy shimmy shimmy towards the the fastest hand in the west. The mariachi owls pull out their guitars as the people still chant "Rango... Rango... Rango". Stan the mariachi owl strums one chord when- BANG! Stan's head explodes as red peppers explode from his face, the towns people stop in their tracks frozen, again, in unison on the verge of tears. Rango says in a really really cool way "well i guess it looks like there will be no more musical performances from now on in my town of dirt it seems." he says as a really cool snappy one-liner "seems like my rec=volver will be making the music from now on" he turns his revolver on its side and presses the music video. Suddenly an Alvin and the Chipmunks cover of Hurt (Johnny Cash) and Rango looks sad and the townspeople begin to cry Rango is sad that he must share his sick radical skateboard with everyone else. A sick tear drops from rangos eye then he suddenly pulls his gun towards the townspeople and fires one bullet which leaves the barrel bouncing going straight through a person then bouncing off a door handle then it bounces of a houseplant and then off a spider and it keeps bouncing unitil everyone in the down is dead in an instant. "well you know what they say, By weight, the average human adult male is approximately 60-63% water, and the average adult female is approximately 52-55% water. There can be considerable variation in body water percentage based on a number of factors like age, health, water intake, weight, and sex" then he blows the barrel of his gun as the smoke dissipates into the sand-filled air. Rango then goes and lines up the dead townspeople and 360 kickflips over the one million corpses and lands, but wait he doesnt land on the ground, no, he lands on spoons' rock hard, beautiful, veiny hand. "This here has gone on long enough Mr Rango" he says "Dont you know i get am hungry as well mister!" his eyes glow with a crimson light of rage as the prospector mouse launches into flight, his magnificant mousewings flourish in the sky as he kisses rango as they ascend but the he does a roundhouse kick and the chokeslams rango into a polar ice cap and rango causes all of the icecaps to collapse and turn to water and then all of a sudden Manny Diego and Sid fall and nearly drown in the cold ocean but they swim really well especially diego, like everyone says "boy to cats love water" so they swim and they nearly make it to the edge of the north pole and into the beautiful city of rome when rango is standing there, "end of the line my friends" then he throws a handgrenade into the water and all the water explodes and turns to ash as the characetrs from ice age all melt and then rango drinks them all like a really really hot smoothie. " mmm, mmmmmm rango says" suddenly spoons lands with a banggggg! "Hahahahahahaha" he laughs like a villain from a shitty anime "dont you know that i have water powers and that i can control it with my hands and you just drank a lot of water so i can kill you now!?" spoons rubs his hands together as the water inside rango begins to boil and it the rango unintentionally makes a DING! noise to signify that it is ready "damn it spoons rango said" and rango was so bloody boiling that he is beginning freeze like a statue and spoons cracks rangos almost frozen arms into the shape of a tea pot and pours some tea into his much and stirrs it he keep stirring it for several minutes and then he decides its ready to drink. he drinks ssome and then goes "ughhhhhh yucky stinky poo poo ughhhhhh?!" and throws it in rangos eyes who yawns it was then suddenly spoons' eyes begin to tear up and he says "im sorry mr rango" that was a little bt mean rango thought but then the kiss and make up anf there is a sunset also so they decide to go and explore Rome 

Bad Bill and Priscilla are also there.

"Oh we should go and the the pyramids of egypt" Spoons says, rango replies "well... when in Rome!" Hahhahahahahahahahahahaaahahahahahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahaha then spoons shoots him. THE END


End file.
